Awkward Office Encounters

"Hey Jared, how was your weekend?"

"Uhh, you know, good. Didn't do much. Just sort of hung out around the house. Took it easy. What about you. Uhh, how was your weekend?"

"You know, pretty good. Had some friends over for a barbecue on Saturday, but otherwise didn't do too much."

(awkward silence)

"Alright dude, take it easy."

"Yeah, you too."

We've all been there before. Well, those of us who work in an office anyway. The awkward, stilted conversation you have with a person whose face you know, but whose name you probably don't know. Someone who you may have worked with for years. You see them around the office, say a friendly hello when you run into them in the break room, but otherwise, you have nothing in common with this person. You probably don't even do the same job as them. But, for those 30 or so seconds, you have to pretend like you are interested in whatever it is they're telling you.

I hate these encounters. Loathe them. Will go out of my way to avoid them if at all possible. Here's the thing, I'm terrible at small talk. That conversation above? That's my best attempt at a conversation like that. If it's Monday, asking about someone's weekend is my go-to for a conversation like that. If it's Friday (sometimes even Thursday), asking what's on tap for the weekend ahead is always the way to go. If it's Tuesday or Wednesday, I'm totally screwed. I have absolutely no idea how to start a conversation with someone I am only vaguely familiar with. I try to avoid eye contact at all costs.

"Oh, Bill, didn't see you there! Yeah, hey, how's it going?" (Slowly dies from awkwardness)

Even worse than the forced break room conversation is when I pass someone in the hall who I am aware exists, but otherwise have nothing in common with. There are three ways I deal with a moment like this:

1. Make no eye contact. I'll either look at the floor, rub my eyes or just sort of keep walking with my gaze fixed forward. I always feel bad about this, because they're right there! I should at least acknowledge the person's existence, right? I always feel like a complete turd when I do this.
2. The awkward smile. This is my go-to move. I force a sort of half smile and will speed up my walk ever so slightly so I have to hold the half smile for as little time as possible. The force half smile usually also comes with the slight nod.
   
3. Say something. "Hey, what's up?" is usually a winner. Little to no potential of the person stopping and giving me an in depth answer. A simple "Oh, not much" will suffice when you are asked "What's up?" and that is just fine by me.

Yeah, I am probably over thinking this. Most people I pass in the hallway or encounter in the break room at work probably don't even give me a second thought. But know this, after we have our thirty second conversation, I will spend the next five to ten minutes analyzing it and wondering if you thought I was rude or awkward. There are very few conversations I have with people I don't know extremely well where I don't feel like just turning around and running from the room like my ass is on fire. Small talk is the worst.