I want a Dog

I want a dog. Badly. I want the ugliest dog that our local shelter has. The old mutt missing an eye & a leg & covered in mange.

I want to take that doggy home & love it forever. Walk it every day, follow it around with a pooper scooper, tell it nice things. Take it to the vet. I'd like to brush what hair it has left on it's wrecked body & rub it's ears. Feed it treats & let it know that it is loved and cherished.

I love love love dogs. I adore them. Old dogs & smelly dogs & fat dogs & busted dogs. I will happy dive to the floor to play with them.

As a child I had a dog. She was wonderful. A giant slobbering boxer named Shayna. She was sleek, with brown & black stripes and white patches. The white fur on her legs made her look like she was wearing elegant socks. She was also nuts. Happy beyond all measure, all the time. She loved jumping up to lick your face. She also loved to hump hump hump your leg. Her farts could peel wallpaper. She had a sweet monkey face that you could look into & realize that everything was going to be OK. She was smart & bilingual. She was the best. dog. ever. ever. ever.

She was also my best friend. My awesome doggy sister. My comrade & co-conspirator.

I was 10 years old when this dog came into the life of my family & took over the house. The days began to revolve around her walks, feedings & cleaning up her poop. We were all head over heels.
I grew up. I was home less. She was always waiting for me, regardless of what time I crept through the door (or through her dog door). She was always there to hug & pet.
I left for college. She waited patiently. I came back for the summer. I went away again. Came back again.

Shayna got old. Her hips hurt. Her breath stank. She had arthritis. Her farts got worse. She slept more & ate less. My parents put her pills into bits of steak & massaged her throat to get them down.

I went away again. Back to school. I got a phone call from my mom one night. Shayna was gone. I flipped out - not one of my finer moments. It was 10 years ago & I'm not over it.

My parents & I still talk about her a lot. She was the greatest dog.

I want a dog badly. I want that kind of connection again. I want to rescue a dog.

I also live in an apartment. I work all day. I travel. It's not fair to the animal.

I've been badgering my husband about it for ages. Sometimes he agrees, but retracts his position. Most of the time he reminds me that we live in an apartment. We work all day. We travel.

I know I'm annoying. I try to hold back, but I fall in love with every dog I see.

I want an old, ugly dog because...well....because anyone can rescue a cute dog. I want the one that no one else wants. It's vanity & it's dumb.

I know that sharing a home with a dog that you love means eventual heartbreak.

I still want a dog.


One day, we'll have a house. We'll have a yard. We'll have a doggy door. We'll have a dog. The dog will have us. It will be awesome.