Movie Theater Etiquette

So it looks like we're going to go see my most anticipated movie of the year, Drive, today. I love movies and I love going to the movie theater. I love sitting in a dark room watching a movie projected on the big screen with dozens of strangers. The problem is, sometimes the strangers I share a theater with can be real assholes. Talking. Texting. Checking the time on their cell phones. It drives me nuts.

Why would someone pay their hard earned money to go see a movie and then NOT WATCH THE DAMN MOVIE? The Arclight charges upwards of $15 for a movie ticket, for God's sake. Who in their right mind thinks it's a good idea to whip out their iPhone and text or play Words with Friends or Angry Birds? The whole point of seeing a movie in a theater is to immerse yourself in the movie-going experience. The theater turns off the lights for a reason. When someone's stupid cell phone screen lights up during the movie, it completely takes me out of the movie. I spend the rest of my time wondering when some other asshole is going to pull out their cell phone.

I hate confrontation. Loathe it. So when someone sitting in my general area starts talking during a movie, I do my best to ignore them. If they're behind me, I'll turn around and give them the stink eye, but that's about it. Simona has no problem with confrontation and will shush a person multiple times. This only makes things more awkward for me. I slump down in my chair and begin checking my watch, wondering when the movie will be over so we can get out of the theater before we are potentially stabbed in the neck by some crazy person who doesn't like the fact that they've been told multiple times to can it. I am no longer concerned with the movie itself, just when it will end.

So, since I will never summon up the will to say this to someone in person, I'll write it here, where nobody is likely to read it. The movie theater is not your living room. Shut up, put away your cell phone and show some goddamn respect to your fellow movie-goers.